When You Get Rejected (or Appear to Be)

Dear Dating Coach:

3 days ago I got a nice email from this guy asking me out to dinner. It was nice and I was considering accepting the date. Then I went out of town on business. When I got back today, this is what was in my mailbox on the dating site:

YOU missed out on a free meal and good company. But thats ok, by you not responding in any,shows me the type of person you are. At least I could have received a no thank you for the offer. In fact I had even written my sister saying this was the kind of email I liked to get.

What do you think of that? What should I do? -- A Surprised Dater

Dear Surprised Dater:

I think this man doesn't understand the rules of online dating, and also has been rejected a lot - not a good sign. That's quite an over-reaction, followed be unnecessary defensive rudeness.

RULES:

1. Some people spend all day on their computers. Other people might check in once a week.


2. I advise all women to wait at least 24 hours to reply to email or phone.


3. Speed of reply is not an indication of interest or lack of interest. It's personal style. Be patient.


4. Here's how it works. If someone doesn't respond to you (like in a month), or writes they aren't interested, just move on. Don't take it personally. There's no need to make any response to them. There are plenty of fish in the sea.


5. Lastly, gentlemen, ladies are not after "a free meal," they want your companionship, a pleasant evening, to get to know you and have a good time.


6. Doing this is bad karma. Don't ask me why, it just is. What goes around comes around.

What do I think? He HAS issues, and he LACKS manners. You dodged a bullet.

What should you do? Guilt isn't mandatory, just say "no" and reject people who deal it. Delete the email and move on.

Dating coaching - in person (Dallas area), by phone, 817-734-1471, by email. Call me for a free consultation and we can discuss options and plans. Let me help you connect up with the partner of your dreams.

Where to take a date for dinner

MEZZA LUNA, Dallas area (Keller)

What a lovely view. Notice the piano area.

There is piano playing on the weekends. The tasteful floral arrangements. That perfect shade of (celadon??) on the walls, wall and crown molding, with the black ceiling, the white tablecloths. Nothing "franchise" about this place at all.

We're back at Mezza Luna, in Dallas to give you an idea of a wonderful place to take a date for dinner when you're getting to know each other.

We suggest that you not take 15 women to "Starbucks on 377" (women can smell this out, let me tell you), but rather learn (that's what coaching is for) how to discriminate down to a few that really have potential, and then treat them right. Take them out for a nice dinner. Not a huge place, fussy, franchise, noisy, or that screams "I'm insecure".

Mezza Luna features beautifully framed pieces of great art. Dante Gabriel Rosetti is a favorite of mine. Pure romance and class. The lighting is just right. One white candle and a small bouquet of crimson flowers on the tables which have white tablecloths.

The decor is what a woman would consider just right, just romantic enough without being "overkill." And gentleman, there's a great steakhouse down the road which I won't name (and I love their prime rib) that's great for the guys and the food is fantastic, and IT features a wall length mural of James Dean a la GIANT. This might just give you the clue that IT is the perfect place for a BUSINESS dinner.

ABOUT THAT PERFECT DATING RESTAURANT

We're back again at Mezza Luna, in Keller, Tx. (20 mins. from DFW). I know readers of my blog and my dating coach clients live all over the world, but I want you to consider this as an example.

There is a beautiful entryway. Behind the door, between it and the front door is a nice little area where you can wait for your date. There is a bar area, but a lady on her own will probably wish to avoid this.

It all comes together there at Mezza Luna - understated is an important word. Just the right size. The white tableclothes. Nothing franchise. You have to hunt a little to find it, which means you're either a man who knows the town, or you did a little work, both of which women appreciate. And it is just romantic enough. Tasteful.

There are enough options on the menu to suit anyone's taste, and the prices are reasonable. The owner has been there every time I've been there (I take everyone there), and he'll quickly be greeting you, which makes a nice impression.

And I can't help saying, as all the newspaper writeups do -- Don't miss the tiramisu. It's perfecto!