Toby Keith - How Do You Like Me Now?

I love this video because I'm a coach - Toby Keith's HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW.

Combine this -- "How Do You Like Me Now" with the Forbes video (http://video.forbes.com/fvn/personalbest/toby-keith-lessons-in-success) where Toby Keith talks about his rise to fame. (He made $52 million in 08).

The first thing he attributes his success to is HARD WORK.

Now, let's face it, dating in today's world is HARD WORK.

If you're struggling with rejection, just got dumped in an email by the man of your dreams who led you on, can't seem to get a good opening line, had a great txt relationship going and now she won't write back ...let me coach you.

LET ME COACH YOU SO YOU CAN SAY 'HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?'

Is She Affectionate?

HOW CAN YOU TELL WHAT IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU'RE STANDING OUTSIDE? That's what it's like when you read a woman's profile on an Internet dating site.

Here's a tip for the guys.

I know the way guys are ... I coach a lot of guys about dating, so I hear the stories. From a recent conversation:

She said she was cuddly and affectionate in her profile. That she liked to touch and all that. But she wasn't that way in person. Now I don't believe it when I read that on a profile. How are you supposed to know and what should you believe? It's a riddle to me.

THE ANSWER TO THE RIDDLE: Gentleman, ladies are not affectionate non-specifically and in general, with every man. Their response is to a particular man and how they feel about him. When a woman writes on her profile that she's warm and affectionate, or likes physical attention, or enjoys romance and love-making, she doesn't mean this will happen with every man she dates, just because it's a man and she's on a date. It means she will be that way if she happens to like you. If she doesn't, she isn't going to be physically affectionate toward you. Emotions and physical intimacy go together for a woman.

So there's no riddle to it. If she says she's that way, she means she's that way when she loves the man. If she isn't that way with you, it's because you aren't the man for her. And so it's best for you to look elsewhere, but also to believe what you read in their profiles. If she says she's affectionate, and you're the lucky man she falls in love with, you'll be smothered in kisses!

The Dating Coach - about your profile name

Bozo. How's that for an online name?

Guys, let's talk a minute about what name you choose for your profile on an Internet dating site.

I'm not saying don't be "you," but according to my focus group, here are some names found recently on sites that were very unappealing to women.

oldyarddog
barfly
exboozer
smartoldguy
dixie00dude
charlie54flame
hope_find
buzz25wow
bluewaterdog
hairball
tomcat
wildman
jydgeek
shadow
shifty56
jarhead

Ones they found appealing or neutral:

fortune500smile
happyguy
One4U?
charlie450
bestfriends
198841
141Male
pendletx50
CX8tampa
searching12
maybeso
readyforlove
soul_mate


Let me help you choose a name the will work for you on your profile. Remember, men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears (words, sounds).

Susan Dunn, M.A., Dating Coach
sdunn@susandunn.cc

Dating Coach - Focus Group Results

Are you looking for a partner online?





As a Dating Coach, I'm always gathering new information. I had a Focus Group the other day to find out more. We talked, got online, and I took notes! From actual men and women who are currently on numerous dating sites, I found out the following:





MEN

• Men go to the photo, and back to the photo, and back to the photo.


• They say they read the profile, but they skim itr.


• If it's more than a paragraph, they get irritated.


• Research says the ideal length is about 100 words


• If men "run to type," it is something more than hair color. Men's lists of favorites contained blonds, brunettes and red heads. I could 'glom on' to a "type" but it was subtle. Things more like serious, or fun, or warm, or friendly, or romboy, or classy


• They are truly puzzled by most of the emails they receive. They say they don't know what to do.


• Many, especially men of action, like to write -- Here's my phone number. Call me.


• They don't like to read anything about exes, former bad treatment, or anything negative


• If the woman has no full length photo, they say "something's wrong" and move on.


• From their emails I read, women don't send a lot of 'canned' emails.


• Men refuse to get on a site and look at other guy's profiles, so they miss some information about the competition.
  
• They do the research - they check to see if the woman has looked at their profile or read their email.

WOMEN

• Women read the profile carefully. They don't mind a couple of paragraphs, but a full page is a turnoff.


• They're turned off by men who write emails only telling about themselves and what they like to do. They like a few questions to answer - like it were a give-and-take conversation.


• They are turned off when there are only interests such as hunting, go-karting, car auctions, target shooting, fishing. Especially if there is only one interest listed like (true example) - driving my new car.


• Women carefully look over the entire photograph. They are turned off by junk in the background, bare chests, photos of the man in a bar with a woman draped over his shoulder, unshaven or sloppy clothes, shots they take of themselves with their cell phone aimed at the bathroom mirror.


• They like to see a photo of the guy's house - but it better have a well-manicured yard and no junk or car parts on the patio.


• They are puzzled by the emails they receive.


• They prefer the guy ask them for their phone number.


• Manners matter a lot.


• Women can tell when they've gotten a 'canned' email - same one sent to 100 women.


• Women often peruse the profiles of other women to get information about the competition, and better ideas for writing!
  
• Yes women are really turned off by bad spelling and grammar.

Timing is a problem for both genders. Why hasn't he written me back? Remember that some people are at a computer all day long, while others might only check once a week.

Your profile matters. Let me help you shape up your profile. There is someone for you out there, lets make your profile more appealing. I also help interpret email responses and help you write better ones, ones that work.

The Dating Coach, Susan Dunn. That's what I do. I work with clients all over the U. S.

The Worst Thing a Man Can Write on His Dating Profile

The Worst Thing a Man Can Write on his Internet Dating Profile

I love statistics. They guide us through the maze. They allow us to put probability on our side. My Dating Coaching is full of them, and they incorporate into RULES.

Here's one for the guys:

According to eharmony.com research, 'THE SINGLE MOST COMMON COMPLAINT FROM WOMEN ABOUT MEN'S PROFILES IS THAT THEY ARE MISSPELLED AND/OR ILLITERATE.'

I have seen this on the profiles of men who are CEOs, hairdressers, construction workers, lawyers and physicians.

LET ME HELP YOU WRITE YOUR PROFILE. When a woman looks at a profile like this (this is a real one, details omitted to protect the guilty) - excerpts:

I AM [name),I AM INTO [occupation],DIVORCED,NOW LOOKING FOR A WOMAN TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH.I HAVE ONLY ONE DAUGHTER ... There is not ideal person, and sometimes I can be a little stubborn and forgetful. ... I like to go out to/and: I can drink a good bottle of wine ... and then i decided i send u a message

What are you to make of this? Most women delete it and move on, according to research.

Don't let that be you! Call me about Dating Coaching - 817-734-1471. I'll help you write a profile that represents you and works ... work with you on photos ... opening lines ... etiquette ... review emails with you. I work hard for you to get you the partner you need.

Susan Dunn, M.A.

The Dating Coach

When You Get Rejected (or Appear to Be)

Dear Dating Coach:

3 days ago I got a nice email from this guy asking me out to dinner. It was nice and I was considering accepting the date. Then I went out of town on business. When I got back today, this is what was in my mailbox on the dating site:

YOU missed out on a free meal and good company. But thats ok, by you not responding in any,shows me the type of person you are. At least I could have received a no thank you for the offer. In fact I had even written my sister saying this was the kind of email I liked to get.

What do you think of that? What should I do? -- A Surprised Dater

Dear Surprised Dater:

I think this man doesn't understand the rules of online dating, and also has been rejected a lot - not a good sign. That's quite an over-reaction, followed be unnecessary defensive rudeness.

RULES:

1. Some people spend all day on their computers. Other people might check in once a week.


2. I advise all women to wait at least 24 hours to reply to email or phone.


3. Speed of reply is not an indication of interest or lack of interest. It's personal style. Be patient.


4. Here's how it works. If someone doesn't respond to you (like in a month), or writes they aren't interested, just move on. Don't take it personally. There's no need to make any response to them. There are plenty of fish in the sea.


5. Lastly, gentlemen, ladies are not after "a free meal," they want your companionship, a pleasant evening, to get to know you and have a good time.


6. Doing this is bad karma. Don't ask me why, it just is. What goes around comes around.

What do I think? He HAS issues, and he LACKS manners. You dodged a bullet.

What should you do? Guilt isn't mandatory, just say "no" and reject people who deal it. Delete the email and move on.

Dating coaching - in person (Dallas area), by phone, 817-734-1471, by email. Call me for a free consultation and we can discuss options and plans. Let me help you connect up with the partner of your dreams.

Is This a Good Person to Date, or Not

"If you can learn who to avoid and who to seek out, that's a lot easier than continually getting hurt"

If only people had this skill. It's particularly important for dating.

The fascinating article entitled FRIEND OR FOE, CROWS NEVER FORGET A FACE, IT SEEMS from the NY Times, ends:

Dr. McGowan and Dr. Marzluff believe that this ability gives crows and their brethren an evolutionary edge. “If you can learn who to avoid and who to seek out, that’s a lot easier than continually getting hurt,” Dr. Marzluff said. “I think it allows these animals to survive with us — and take advantage of us — in a much safer, more effective way.”

So how can you tell from an online profile or a first date, who to avoid and who to seek out?

Let me be your Dating Coach. Take THE EQ COURSE and get the edge.

Unrealistic Expectations about Your Dream Partner

THE PERFECT MATE FOR YOU

Well, we are all something - tall, short, heavy, skinny, weak, strong, brunette ... these are physical attributes.

We are also kind, considerate, relationship-oriented, good communcators, honest, faithful, playboys, inconsiderate, flighty, demanding, needy ...

It seems to be hard to us to realize that physical attributes change. I remember a guy in college with the most gorgeous black thick curly hair. He was also so muscular and well over 6'3". Yes, the Big Man on Campus. I met him 30 years late, and he was nearly bald , his muscles had weakened and he had shrunk an inch or two. What remained was that he still used words like "honor code".

You see?

If you fall in love with a passing physical trait, you are falling in love with something that will not endure. (In fact it isn't 'love', it's something else!!) It's like you love black hair, you don't love Fred, who happens to have black hair... and might not one day.

On the short support org blog I found the following. There are many people concerned that they are "short":

Dr. Phil is a CBS talk show in which Dr. Phil McGraw counsels guests in a
no-nonsense manner about their issues.

During a December 2006 episode, he interviewed several guests with unrealistic expectations from relationships. One woman was so absolutely impossible in her demands of men - to the point that her girlfriend practically forced her to attend the show. Dr. Phil was often at a loss for words, eyeing the camera quizzically at several points as she talked, clearly flabbergasted by her negative attitude.

Not only did she demean balding men (right in front of McGraw, himself balding), but she soon mentioned how short men just don't make the grade as far as she is concerned. He looked at her and told her that she herself was short, prompting her to respond "but it's okay for a girl to be short."

What a sick, self-interested attitude. According to her, any short man
is not "okay." Literally, she is worthy of love, but a man of her height? No.

McGraw clearly saw the stupidity in the comment, but he did not pursue
it any further. I wish he had done so, but being a man of well over six feet
tall I'm just glad he was able to spot something wrong with it at all.

Comments from the blog. by Mr, Parma.

What I want to bring out here is

several guests with unrealistic expectations from relationships. One woman was so absolutely impossible in her demands of men - to the point that her girlfriend practically forced her to attend the show

And here's the wonder of the world. In my last dating seminar we went over "lists." One woman had put that she liked short men, like 5'6" she said. Another women frowned and said, "How can you? They gotta be at least 6'2" for me." "Ewwww," replied the first woman.

Well, that's the wonder of the world.

Make your lists of desireable, must-haves, and deal-breakers, I always recommend that; but let me help you with it. There's a lot to learn in dating and searching, and I'm here to help. There's a difference between "standards" (I want a man who is honest in his dealings with other) and "demands" (He must be at least 6' tall and muscular.).

Standards are about relationship and how one lives their life. Physical charactistics are accidents of nature, and have more to do with lust, than love. (See my EQ course to differentiate the reptile brain, from the limbic brain, from the neocortex). You will find it SOOO helpful. Little hint: that hottie that turns you on could possibly be a disaster to marry ( I have listened to the other end of this a LOT.)

I am true romantic and I KNOW there's a pot for every lid!! Let me help you find yours.

Who is Michael Phelps Dating?

What if you read a dating profile where the man listed for his "interests:"

I’ve got a pretty quiet life. It’s kinda boring. I haven’t got a girlfriend and I can’t do the kind of things all my friends are doing as college students. I swim, listen to hip hop and work on my car.

Think you might pass him up as "boring"? Think again! This is attributed to Michael Phelps spreadit.org Yes, indeed, he "swims."

A lot of men doing interesting and serious things with their lives won't list a lot of interests. Actually, I've talked to 100s of men and women and helped them write and re-write their profiles and a big one is "interests."

From Kareena:

What am I supposed to put for interests? What did I do today?
Listened to come classical music, cleaned house, went over to have dinner with
my son and family and took 3 client calls. What would I do if I had a
neat guy in my life?? That's a totally other thing.

Does Michael have a girlfriend? He's been linked to swimmer Amanda Beard, who denied it; and to supermodel Lily Donaldson, who also denied dating him. Lately he's been linked to gold medal winning swimmer Stephanie Rise.

True?

According to Game On , Phelps always replies:

• Part of my life is kept to myself. I'm able to relax and be with my friends. Those pretty much are the only people who really know the answer to that.
  
  
  Well, the Dating Coach has to say, that the gentleman's response. Used to be that a gentleman didn't "kiss and tell." That's not a bad idea!
  
  Recommendation when your date asks you about previous dates, partners, spouses and exes -- that it be kept to a minimum and that you practice with me suitable responses. After all, it's "history" isn't it? Or you wouldn't be a very attractive date prospect.
  
  Let me work with you on responses to the "trick" questions. That's what Dating Coaching is all about.
  
  If you want a second date, or even second email, it matters how you answer questions ... and also how you ask them.
  
  Favorite woman's profile comment seen this week:
  
  Q: What's your idea of a great first date?
  A: Anything as long as it doesn't feel like a job interview!!!
  
  Answer to "interests"? Ladies and gentlemen, if it's hard for you to write, it's hard for them to write. Give people a long lead until you get a "deal breaker." Kareena tells me she'd love to go to the Galapagos Island, if she had someone to go with. That's a far cry from listening to music and visiting with family!
  
  Photo: wikipedia, common domain

Where to take a date for dinner

MEZZA LUNA, Dallas area (Keller)

What a lovely view. Notice the piano area.

There is piano playing on the weekends. The tasteful floral arrangements. That perfect shade of (celadon??) on the walls, wall and crown molding, with the black ceiling, the white tablecloths. Nothing "franchise" about this place at all.

We're back at Mezza Luna, in Dallas to give you an idea of a wonderful place to take a date for dinner when you're getting to know each other.

We suggest that you not take 15 women to "Starbucks on 377" (women can smell this out, let me tell you), but rather learn (that's what coaching is for) how to discriminate down to a few that really have potential, and then treat them right. Take them out for a nice dinner. Not a huge place, fussy, franchise, noisy, or that screams "I'm insecure".

Mezza Luna features beautifully framed pieces of great art. Dante Gabriel Rosetti is a favorite of mine. Pure romance and class. The lighting is just right. One white candle and a small bouquet of crimson flowers on the tables which have white tablecloths.

The decor is what a woman would consider just right, just romantic enough without being "overkill." And gentleman, there's a great steakhouse down the road which I won't name (and I love their prime rib) that's great for the guys and the food is fantastic, and IT features a wall length mural of James Dean a la GIANT. This might just give you the clue that IT is the perfect place for a BUSINESS dinner.

ABOUT THAT PERFECT DATING RESTAURANT

We're back again at Mezza Luna, in Keller, Tx. (20 mins. from DFW). I know readers of my blog and my dating coach clients live all over the world, but I want you to consider this as an example.

There is a beautiful entryway. Behind the door, between it and the front door is a nice little area where you can wait for your date. There is a bar area, but a lady on her own will probably wish to avoid this.

It all comes together there at Mezza Luna - understated is an important word. Just the right size. The white tableclothes. Nothing franchise. You have to hunt a little to find it, which means you're either a man who knows the town, or you did a little work, both of which women appreciate. And it is just romantic enough. Tasteful.

There are enough options on the menu to suit anyone's taste, and the prices are reasonable. The owner has been there every time I've been there (I take everyone there), and he'll quickly be greeting you, which makes a nice impression.

And I can't help saying, as all the newspaper writeups do -- Don't miss the tiramisu. It's perfecto!

Is he/she emotionally available?

And if you try to close your heart to them, you will grossly limit your life, happiness, success, and ability to connect with others.

From the emailbag today:

Dear Dating Coach,

This is what he wrote me. What do you think?

Sandra, I don't know who you think you are to patronize me like
that.

All I did was express sympathy at the death of his wife, right after he
filed for divorce. I mean that's got to be rough.

This man is not available emotionally for a relationship.

It's the law of emotions (like physics) that if you stuff down one emotion, you stuff them all down.

There are people attempting to date online that simply are not ready because they have not dealt with "baggage."

Let me help you identify them quickly, so that you don't waste your time. We bless them, and hope for their healing, but it is roller coaster to try and get involved with someone who has not processed a divorce or death or breakup, or other major lif event, for that matter.

Refer them to me for coaching! :-) (in my other field, emotional intelligence)

The EQ COURSE will help you understand how emotions/feelings work and what you can do about it. Many people call it "the missing piece."

I love emotional intelligence. It's my passion. Let me share it with you! email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc and let's get to work!

COME TO THE DATING FOR SUCCESS SEMINAR IN DALLAS Saturday, October 18th, 10 am to 5 pm. Beautiful facility just 20 mins. from DFW. email me for more information and discounted pre-registration fee. sdunn@susandunn.cc

What restaurant is right for the first date

WHERE TO TAKE HER ON YOUR FIRST DATE


Today I did reviewed a local restaurant called Mezza Luna in Keller Tx (between Dallas and Fort Worth) that I think is an excellent place to take a woman for a first date.


I don't recommend inviting 16 women a week to meet you at Starbucks. This is like emailing "flirts" or those canned messages. Why not be discriminating, choose those who really appeal to you, for all the right reasons, and give it a good start and make a good impression by taking them to dinner. But not a chain restaurant! That's the ":-)" thing again. Show that you are discriminating. That's what a woman is looking for.


Why do I recommend this one:

• It is easy to get to, and to find. Off 1709, a major thoroughfare, one that's easy to drive, and one that is about midway between Dallas and Ft. Worth.



• It is in a wide, designer type 'strip' center, where the building stands higher than any others there, and the name is on it. Again, easy to find. It stands out.



• There is plenty of parking and no garage to have to mess with.



• When you walk in, there is a real foyer entrance. This sets a nice tone, and there are chairs if the lady should have to wait.



• It is open from 11 am to 10 pm, which gives you wide latitude ... early lunch, lunch, late lunch, cocktails and heavy hors d'oeuvres, dinner, late dinner ...



• There is a pianist there who plays on the weekends. This is a lovely touch as you can request something meaningful, or simply beautiful. I always ask for O Sole Mio. If you know the lyrics of this great Neapolitan love song, well it's what we all want in our love ...roughly translated ... "It's my own sun that's in your face! The sun, my own sun! It's in your face!



• Ask for a table farthest from the piano though, so it isn't too loud for conversation.



• It has white tablecloths. Need I say more? There is a white candle on the table.



• It is quiet enough to be romantic if you like, and to be able to talk; without being intimidating or overdone or "too" elegant for early dating.



• The food is excellent AND is reasonably priced. It somehow makes the right impression. Taking a woman out for a $50 steak is somehow overkill.



• The service is good. You should not have to worry about that.
  
• Like Goldilocks, it's not too big, it's not too small, it's just right.
  
• The menu is Italian, but not so much it knocks you over the head.
  
• And lastly, what smells better than entering an Italian restaurant??

Find a restaurant that sets this kind of tone - Excellent and understated, with those white tablecloths! And where the location is not stressful. This allows you to devote your attention to the important part - getting to know each other.

Do not choose your wife at a dance

This one is for the guys. The Czech proverb above say "Do not choose your wife at a dance, but in the field among the harvesters." Another proverb is that men fall is love with their eyes ... which is fine, but that is not a good reason to choose a partner for marriage. For Proverbs of the World go to www.susandunn.cc and click the link on the left.

Ah, but you say, we don't plow fields any more, or I don't live in Czechloslovakia, so so what?

Why "in the field among the harvesters" in the year 2008, in the US, the UK, or the Ukraine? Because marriage involves a lot of work. Children to raise, houses to care for, someone to pull the load with you, careers to build, degrees to attain, retirements to fund.

Ah, but that's just for young folks, you say?

We know better than that. When you are choosing later in life, it isn't time to think "retirement" and choose a playmate to go off on your yacht with you. There are illnesses, crucial problems with kids, finances to rearrange, declining health, and more work. Even the yacht has to be taken care of and funded.

Yes, you've saved the last dance for her, and she, for you, but think a little.

As a wise young man named Chester once told me, "Scenery gets old. No matter how good it is."

And as an older, sadder-but-wiser client told me the other day, as he searches again, "If only she had been as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside."

If you are building a life together, it involves work. Choose your wife in a field ...

Let me help you find the partner of your dreams and of your reality. The Dating Coach is here to help you.

DATING FOR SUCCESS SEMINAR IN DALLAS, Saturday, October 28, 10 am - 5 pm. Led by Dating coach and emotional intelligence expert, Susan Dunn, M.A. Beautiful facilities located 20 minutes from DFW airport. Email sdunn@susandunn.cc for information and pre-register at a discounted fee.

How to Win at Dating

YOU CAN WIN AT DATING

"It's tough to do, but you've got to work at living, you know? Most people work at dying, but anybody can die; the easiest thing on this earth is to die. But to live takes guts; it takes energy, vitality, it takes thought. . . . We have so many negative influences out there that are pulling us down. . . . You've got to be strong to overcome these adversities . . . that's why I never stop." - Jack LaLane

The Dating Coach is here to help you keep after the good things in life. It's easy to give up. But not with me as your Dating Coach.

I've helped many people to success. Let me help you. sdunn@susandun.cc

If she couldn't, how can you??

Why Sandra wasn't meeting men

Why should you be looking for Mr. Right on the Internet? Because, despite what lots of experts say, these days it is nearly impossible to meet men in the daily course of your life, including work and activities.

Listen to what Sandra told me:

Thank you sooo much for getting me on the Internet to date. And boy am I telling other people. I have a high profile job in public relations. You know how they always tell you to get out where they men are? Picture this -- for years I've had lunch at some networking event several times a week - rotary, bank openings, product launches, "meet the new CEO" presentations. Even the occasional C&W dance hall opening, or bar. I give and go to banquets at night constantly, where there are 100s of men present, good, eligible ones. On Sunday I go to all the churches, giving speeches. I speak and schmooz with the military (3 big bases in town), the CEOs, the society matrons. I serve on as many Boards as I can. I even get to wear formals and chic clothes all the time. And I'm not a dog. It's just that I'm in my professional persona as you told me, and that's not appealing to men. I mean picture me getting a 200-person event rolling, giving orders, dealing with the media. That's intimidating, and also not conducive to normal conversation. If I couldn't find a man that way, what about the woman who's buried in an accounting department all day and then goes to SCUBA lessons on the weekends? Now I see the advantages of the Internet. Just need to get my profile in shape. Can you help?

Sandra's story should be written on the Internet dating sites as an ad. Out all the time, dressed to the hilt, competent and beautiful ... and no dates.

The Internet is the primary way to meet the man of your dreams ... IF you kow what you'redoing, and I can show you how.

Let me help you:

• Choose a photo that works


• Stop writing the things that turn men off


• Write for men, not for other women


• Avoid the 5 words that men will eliminate you for immediately


• How to write a profile that represents who you are in a way men can relate to


• How to recognize and immediately eliminate the men you don't want

One-day seminar in Dallas in October. Write me for details. The dating scene really heats up at the holidays, so get yourself prepared. Get ready, get set, GO! Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc .