DC Dating Coach

Looking for the key to successful dating?

SUSAN DUNN, DC DATING COACH for men and women in the D. C. area.

I moved to the D. C. area about a year ago, and what a culture shock. The lifestyle here is as daunting as I was told it would me. Some clients I had worked with previously from D. C. (via telephone which is how I do over 50% of my coaching, nationally and internationally) would sometimes claim they were going to give up on dating, saying, "I don't have time for a relationship."

NOW, THE DATING COACH DOESN'T LIKE TO HEAR THAT!

THE PLACE OF WORK IN YOUR LIFE
Work is necessary, work is rewarding, work puts bread on the table and a roof over your head, work stimulates your mind, work is good and noble, work can bring you respect, work can raise your self-esteem, work allows for a certain type of socialising, work is intelectually challenging and satisfying, at best work can be a mission or a passion ....

BUT WHAT IS MISSING HERE?

Man does not live by bread alone. Nor does woman.

THE PLACE OF A RELATIONSHIP IN YOUR LIFE
A special relationship in your life is what makes your life worthwhile. Inter-dependency with a loving other is the way it's supposed to be. It also happens to be vital to your HEALTH -- and this applies even more to MEN than it does to women.

Isolation is harder on your health (say studies) than smoking, obesity and high blood pressure COMBINED. You know that, because you know it feels bad. And by "isolation" they mean emotional connection with people, not just clubbing, networking, or being in a room full of people.

Let me help you with the complexities of today's dating. Susan Dunn the DC Dating Coach is here to help. And if there is ANY area that needs to understand and use online dating, it's in the D. C. area. I have worked with people all over the world with telephone coaching. I am also available to meet with you in-person, having offices in Chevy Chase, Md. and Manassas, Va. Sessions also can be arranged at your place of work, home, or location such as restaurant or Starbucks.



Dating Coaching is at YOUR convenience. There is never a contract; we work session-to-session until you reach success.

TODAY'S TIP: According to match.com, which is probably the most successful and highly-used website (particularly for folks in the D. C. area) -- messages under 30 words and over 300 words will get you deleted. So, make those return emails between 30 and 300 words.

Let me help you with your profile, wording responses, pacing the relationship, figuring out the other person, and the whole dating scene.

TODAY'S GOOD NEWS: Client Sandra, a 65 year old female who lives in Bethesda, just had 6 dates in a row with 6 different men.

So, yes, you can do it.

This happens to be what I call "rutting season" for the males, so ladies, don't miss this current timeframe. Call me at 817-734-1471 or email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc for dating coaching. And guys -- the competition is coming on strong. Let me help you stand out from the crowd. I have clients all over the country, and all ages.

Make your New Year's Resolution to get a dating coach, get a date, and get yourself into a meaningful, fun, and fulfilling relationship for the New Year.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Dating: Looking for the Right Man

From the Dating Coach Mailbag:

Dear Dating Coach:

We were having a great time, and then I remember he reached over for the dessert we were sharing, and there was something about his hands. Not dirty, and no bitten nails, etc., I just knew I 'registered' something. I thought they were pretty and delicate, but at the same time, I don't like "pretty" or "delicate" hands on a man. What am I to make of this?

++++++++
This is interesting because I am reading Diamond's THE THIRD CHIMPANZEE where he spends a good bit of time talking about how we choose our mates.

Note that choosing a marital partner is much more of a choice than choosing a one--night-stand. In fact the chapter this is in is called How We Pick our Mates and Sex Partners. It is very important to know what you are doing -- Are you choosing a mate, or a sex partner is the first thing I ask clients>

First let me say that you, personally, in your choice of partner, are allowed to prefer what you prefer. In other words, there's a woman out there that would fallk instantly in love with this man BECAUSE OF those same hands that turn you off.

That's the wonder of love!

That having been said, in his book, Diamond cites scientific research where he uses words such as coefficients and significant. To unpack these terms, coefficients means the different things that influence something, and "significant" is a scientific terms meaning that the numbers show a difference. Yes, it arbitrary, but not as arbitrary as saying, "I (your personal opinion) think people choose mates according to the color of their eyes." "Correlation" means they relate, but be cautious about cause and effect. i.e., People eat more ice cream on hot days. The heat is more likely to cause the eating of ice cream than the ice cream to cause the day to be hot ... but with more complicated issue, people don't always see the line of causation properly! (I know you've experienced this misconception.)

FROM THE BOOK:

Coefficients for physical traits are on the average ... not so high as for personality traits ... or religion ... but still significantly higher than zero. For a few physical traits the correlation is even higher than 0.2 [which is the average overall for physical traits] -- e.g., an astonishing 0.61 for length of middle finger. At least unconsciously, people care more about their spouse's middle-finger length than about his or her hair color and intelligence!

I can't say I was conscious about this, but I sure am now. (Which is what Emotional Intelligence is about -- self-awareness.)

Something DEFINITELY REGISTERED when she stopped and took a look at his hands. And it was something negative.

Knowledge is power. Information is useful. Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc for dating coaching, and get ahead of the curve.

How to Read People When You're Dating

We all want to know when we're dating or reviewing profiles on the Internet, or reading emails from potentials -- are they telling the truth.

Well this video will give you some good tips on reading other people, and also for better communication on your own part.

Notice it begins with "we all do this" but he's going to show you "how to observe yourself doing it." In other words -- self-awareness. To increase your emotional intelligence and self-awareness, get some coaching with me and take the EQ COURSE. EMail me at sdunn@susandunn.cc . Dating coaching can really help.



This also has good tips for hiring, interviewing, and your personal power presentation.

What's Darwinius Masellae got to do with it?

Found on a dating profile

I like: teal blue, freckles on little girls, well-modulated voices, Carrara marble, Paris street cafes, tenors, playing Chopin, listening to Verdi, Tuscany, limoncello, Amalfi (if you drive), a good kisser, South Padre Island upon occasion, Darwinius Masellae, variety, sunsets, broccoli, lamb, the long twilights in the north, fin de siecle, tour guides like Andrew, burnt sienna, sometimes pina coladas in a hot tub, and that Deruta Uva Fresca Salad Bowl.

I don't like: sunrises, Gaudi, carrots, alarm clocks, 7-hour layovers in Frankfurt, that grease they fry foods in these days in the US, machines that don't work, agendas, SUVs and the women who drive them, mean people, getting pick-pocketed in Barcelona, people who are lactose-intolerant, defective motorcycles, the color lavendar, men who think Colbert's being serious, hearing about movies on historical tours, denouement in relationships, loud noises, nasty surprises and certified mail.

Now that really tells you a lot about the woman, doesn't it. Without going into the I like men with lots of money or I can't stand men who drink and beat me sort of stuff.

Try something like that. It works well!

One of the most important parts of COMPATIBILITY is laughing at the same things, and writing in that way tests a person's sense of humor.

For dating coaching, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc or call me at 817-734-1471.

He Wants to See Your Face; She Wants to See Your Bank Statement

Want a Rich Man? Time's running out. Get dating coaching. Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Q: This guy on millionairematch.com called, and we got along great. Then he emailed me and said he wanted to see photos of my face - and current. I was really insulted. I sent him a recent headshot, and then asked him to send me a photo of his second house in Malibu. I haven't heard back from him. I've really work to be in great shape. People tell me I'm beautiful, I'm slender, and I look decades younger than my real age. I intend to marry a wealthy man. Not for the dumb reason that I watched The Hills and Gossip Girl, but because it's part of who I am. I've never dated a guy making less than 6 figures. Because I'm used to wealth and because rich guys are smart, educated, sophisticated, and have good self-esteem. It's part of my history and my lifestyle. What can I do without being rude?

A: Let's define 'wealthy guy', where to find them, how to get one, ETC.

"Ten Things You Need to Know if You Want to Marry a Rich Guy"
by Susan Dunn, Dating Coach

Let's begin with a dose of emotional intelligence (EQ). Why? Wealthy men have it all together, and they're looking for the same in a woman - someone with social graces and inner beauty as well as the outer panache. They also can ferret out a gold-digger like any prey knows its predator. If you're JUST after a guy for his money, it won't happen. If you see it as part of the package that you are looking for, and love the man as well as his deeds (for the two cannot be separated), it will work.

From Fascinating Facts about Rich Guys

1. The Tax Foundation Group in Washington DC defines "rich man" as someone earning $104,000 or more. (Reference, Fascinating Facts about Rich Guys) I'd up that quite a bit, wouldn't you?

2. How about making more than $1 million annually. Well the good news is ther are 9.5 million people earning at least that, and 94,970 are pulling in at least $30 million each year. (from Fascinating Facts)

3. It isn't just doctors and lawyers any more, though you need to look at type preference. A doctor or lawyer is likely to be more 'professional' in the old sense, more conservative, well-educated in the liberal arts sense, their career trajectory is fairly predictable and proscribed, and perhaps they're second-generation wealthy. On the other hand, these days a lot of men have made their wealth on the Internet, or managing hedge funds, or other more creative enterpreneur-type work. One man we know had made a million before he was 30, with his own software company, was bought out in a hostile takeover, and then decided to get his formal education and went to Oxford. Now he's an entrepreneur again. Can you follow that? Get ready for the ride.

Here are some of the "new rich," from the article:

Mark Zuckerberg, 23, founder of Facebook...$1.5 billion
Andrew Gower, 29, founder of Runescape...$216 million
Chad Hurley, 30, cofounder of You Tube...$300 million
Andrew Michael, 29, founder of FastHosts...$87 million

But this is chicken feed compared to the more mature rich men, who made their money the old-fashioned way. From Forbes:

Warren Buffet, investor - $62 billion
Helú Slim, wireless telephone - $60 billion - and girls, he's widower
Lakshmi Mittal, in steel - $45 billion
Mukesh Ambani, petrochemicals - $43 billion
Anil Ambani, industrialist, brother of the above - $40 billion
Ingvar Kamprad , Ikea - $31 billion
KP Singh, real estate - $30 billion
Oleg Deripaska, metals - $28 billion
Karl Albrecht, grocery stores - $20 billion

4. Rich guys travel. On business and for pleasure. And they out. Beef. They expect the best of everything ... what else is money for? So put yourself in hotel bars and upscale steak houses where they serve prime Angus. Visit the bar first, because they will.

5. Go where they live. And where do they live?

The research firm Teasley ranked the following United States cities as having the best ratio of rich, single men to women.

1. San Francisco Bay area
2. Anchorage, Alaska
3. Washington, D.C./Baltimore
4. Sheboygan, Wisconsin
5. Naples, Florida
6. Minneapolis/Saint Paul
7. Rochester, Minnesota
8. Boston
9. Fort Walton Beach, Florida
10. Dallas

6. Forget it if you're really a gold-digger. How does a gold-digger act? Come on, we all know. Rich men are pursued by "gold-diggers," and they know the signs, like any prey knows its predator. You can't fake it, so get real about what you want and WHY. If you're a gold-digger, you won't get a rich man. That's just the way it is. Karma, doncha know.

7. Know what goes with what. According to studies, rich men do more porn on the Internet, have more sex and more partners, and about 1/3rd of them are members of the mile-high club. Also, rich men give women more orgasms.

8. What they expect? That you're beautiful (to them) is a given. You are also EXPECTED to be sophisticated, gracious, well-bred and educated, and to be able to plan social schedules.

9. Be smart. In the emotional intelligence (EQ) way, and also in the IQ/educated way. 89% of rich men want to marry a woman who is their intellectual equal, or smart than them. They don't have a self-esteem problem. Many want their woman to have a high-profile career of her own.

10. Be brunette. Huh? According to the article:

Blond is reputed to be the sexiest hair color, but according to a survey by Lycos, 62 percent of the world’s top 100 billionaires’ wives and girlfriends are brunettes. What’s still unclear: whether these rich men seek out darker-haired women or if there are just more of them out there (fair hair is rarer).

11. Be looking for Polo Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein, Armani, Coach or Burberry. Most popular threads with rich men? Polo Ralph Lauren.

Would he be looking at other women if he loved you?

clipped from www.sciam.com

People in Love Are Blind to Pretty Faces

If your loved one claims to “only have eyes for you”

it might be truer than you think

Research shows that people in a committed relationship who have been thinking about their partner actually avert their eyes from attractive members of the opposite sex without even being aware they are doing it

it takes longer for viewers to shift their attention away from attrac­tive faces of the opposite sex.

subjects who were married

Those who wrote about love actually turned their attention away from attractive members of the opposite sex even more quickly

than they looked away from average-looking people

This unconscious attentional bias probably evolved to help men and women stay in monogamous relation­ships

in humans tend to have a reproductive advantage

These biases have been built into our psychology to enhance people’s reproductive success.”

Is She Affectionate?

HOW CAN YOU TELL WHAT IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU'RE STANDING OUTSIDE? That's what it's like when you read a woman's profile on an Internet dating site.

Here's a tip for the guys.

I know the way guys are ... I coach a lot of guys about dating, so I hear the stories. From a recent conversation:

She said she was cuddly and affectionate in her profile. That she liked to touch and all that. But she wasn't that way in person. Now I don't believe it when I read that on a profile. How are you supposed to know and what should you believe? It's a riddle to me.

THE ANSWER TO THE RIDDLE: Gentleman, ladies are not affectionate non-specifically and in general, with every man. Their response is to a particular man and how they feel about him. When a woman writes on her profile that she's warm and affectionate, or likes physical attention, or enjoys romance and love-making, she doesn't mean this will happen with every man she dates, just because it's a man and she's on a date. It means she will be that way if she happens to like you. If she doesn't, she isn't going to be physically affectionate toward you. Emotions and physical intimacy go together for a woman.

So there's no riddle to it. If she says she's that way, she means she's that way when she loves the man. If she isn't that way with you, it's because you aren't the man for her. And so it's best for you to look elsewhere, but also to believe what you read in their profiles. If she says she's affectionate, and you're the lucky man she falls in love with, you'll be smothered in kisses!

Usain Bolt had a coach, do you

Usain Bolt had Coaching ... Do You?
Coaching isn't just for athletes any more, it's for dating!!

The Olympics news tell us that Usain Bolt has broken a world record, something no one has done before.

The Yahoo teaser continues that Bolt is the first man to break the world marks in both sprints at an olympics. Not even Jesse Owens did this ... we would have thought it impossible.

This reminds me of a woman who called me for Dating Coach several months ago, told me a little about herself, and then added, "I bet you've never had such a hard sell before."

Fast forward - This woman is now dating a wonderful man, after 3 months of coaching with me.

ABOUT COACHING

Since I'm a coach, I went to wikipedia and tried to find out about Usain Bolt's coaches. Wikipedia says,

"Under the guidance of new coach Fitz Coleman, Bolt turned professional in 2004,beginning with the CARIFTA games in Bermuda....He became the first junior
sprinter to run the 200 metres in under 20 seconds, breaking Roy Martin' world
junior record by two tenths of a second with 19.93 seconds.

The following year, 2005, signalled a fresh start for Bolt in the form of a new coach, Glen Mills and a new attitude to athletics. Mills recognised Bolt's potential andaimed to cease the sprinter's unprofessional approach to the sport. TheJamaican surprised even himself with the time but coach Glen Mills remained confident there was more to come. Mills' prediction came true before the end ofthe month when Bolt established a new 100 metres world record in May. He then encouraged Bolt to try the 100.

This is what coaches do! One thing I did for sure with the female client mentioned above is give her a total new ATTITUDE toward dating. That's because I've done a lot of dating coaching, and seen the successes. I KNEW there was a man out there looking for this woman, and that a change of attitude was in order.

One thing is that she tried once or twice and then gave up. What would've happened if Bolt had done that? If his coach had let him do that?

Dating coaching is all about attitude, strategy, and what works and what doesn't, from years of experience.

Let me help you find the mate of your dreams.

Photo: wikipedia commons, author Eckhard Pecher (Arcimboldo)