Have you Ever Terminated an online Relationship because of one of their photos?

BOO!

Q: The question on the Advice Board was "Has anyone ever dismissed a man because of a photo in their profile, I mean besides one with another woman."

A: Since I'm a Dating Coach I can answer that from a broad perspective. Women have described to me terminating contact with men (or not even starting it) because of photos, with words like. But let me begin by saying that men, especially older men, may only have one dressed-up photo of themselves, which is at a wedding, often the wedding of one of their kids, so you see them with a cute young thing. Check it out, don't assume.

That having been said ... I've heard many different reasons, among them:

• Anything obscene or in poor taste. Occasionally one of these will slip by the censors


• He looks like a derelict


• Why would he think I would want to see him chest-bare in the bathroom mirror photographing himself with his own cell phone?


• 5 photos of him on his Harley???


• He's dirty, unshaven, nasty clothes


• Am I supposed to fall in love with his car?


• Too fat


• The stuff on his back porch was disgusting


• All those ______ things on his walls and mantel - I'm not into that stuff (various different memorabilia - we all have our own tastes)


• I won't date a man with a beard/long hair/GQ look/earring/tatoo/Brooks Brother look (etc.)


• I don't like blonds/bald men/brunettes ... blue-eyed/brown-eyed men


• Photo of him in bar with woman draped all over him


• Too tiny for me


• A photo of him surrounded by teddy-bears? You gotta be kidding.


• It's nice he's a doctor, but that shot with white coat and stethoscope smells of ego to me


• Looks like an addict


• Looks like he's had 5 bypasses


• Showed him in his Halloween costume. Gross.


• Photo of him from his high school yearbook 40 years ago. Who cares what he looked like then?


• Looked depressed


• Bad teeth

My personal favorite is the one some man put on his profile of himself with a bow and arrow and that thing with the arrows on his back, out in some woods. And he was dressed not unlike Robin Hood. Wish I could print the photo here.

Folks, the photos you choose to display on your profile make all the difference in the world. Men are primarily visible. Women might give it a chance beyond a photo, but the photos still matter.

P.S. Check out the backgrounds of your photos. Make sure they are things you want to be there. If in doubt, let me help you out. I can help you build a profile and photo portfolio that shows you at your best.

Emotionally Intelligent Questions to Ask When You're Dating

Here are Some Emotionally Intelligent Questions to Ask When You’re Dating or Preparing to Date. (BTW, this is my most requested article on the Internet.)

1. Is it just sexual attraction? Sexual attraction comes from the reptilian brain and is automatic and powerful because it relates to our survival. It’s not a basis for living with someone happily. Don’t let it “hijack” you. Find out what else it there.

2. Does he like to touch and be touched? This is important to your mental and physical health.

3. Does he look at you with affection and kindness? Most communication is nonverbal.

4. Have you used your thinking brain? EQ means using all 3 brains. Are you compatible in your daily habits? You’ll be keeping house together. Do you have the same values and priorities?

5. Does he have emotional self-awareness? How is he at empathy? One of the most predictive traits for compatibility is if you can sense the other’s sadness.

6. How optimistic is he? Optimism is the facilitator of all the EQ competencies. In addition, optimists live longer, enjoy better health, and accomplish more. Can you laugh and have fun together?

7. How resilient is he? How does he manage adverse events and setbacks? Has he been able to GROW through adversity, not just GO through it?

8. How do you and he manage anger? Successful couples soothe one another instead of agitating and escalating.

9. How balanced is his life? Resilient people combine learning, work and leisure throughout their lifetime.

10.Will you be his top priority?

11.Do you feel at ease with this person? If you’re walking on eggshells, or working too hard, it won’t work in the long run.

12.How much does his baggage weigh? (See Chapter 3 of my ebook, Midlife Dating Survival Manual for Women)

13.How is his self-esteem? Does he trust you or is he jealous and insecure?

14.Are you treated with respect? Does he treat other people w/ respect? This may be more of an indication for ‘after the honeymoon.’ Pay particular attention to how he treats his mother and his children. That’s how he’ll treat you. Also, does he ogle other women in your presence? This is a bad sign.

15.Is there chemistry?

16.Is he financially stable?

17.Is he mature and emotionally intelligent, interested in making a commitment, and capable of doing so?

18.HOW DOES HE MAKE YOU FEEL?

Where Do the Singles Live?

Yahoo has a great article called Going Solo in the US. Read the whole article HERE.

Some excerpts about information on where singles live:

The most are in San Francisco with 44.7% single.
Next is Detroit.
New York with 39.8 %.
Boston, 39.2% which they also say has colleges, night life, culture, and good jobs.
New Orleans
Los Angeles
Fort Lauderdale, FL
Las Vegas
Miami
Then Albuquerque, at 36.8%

Other interesting points:

Top city with the least singles is McAllen, Texas
Others include Allentown, Pa and El Paso, Tx

Gender Gap

The US has about 6% more single women than single men.

Of interest --
There are more men in San Jose, Ca.
In McAllen, Tx there are 28% more women (the highest).

Cities nearly equal as to gender include Minneapolis, Tacoma, Orlando and Fort Worth.