Emotionally Intelligent Questions to Ask When You're Dating

Here are Some Emotionally Intelligent Questions to Ask When You’re Dating or Preparing to Date. (BTW, this is my most requested article on the Internet.)

1. Is it just sexual attraction? Sexual attraction comes from the reptilian brain and is automatic and powerful because it relates to our survival. It’s not a basis for living with someone happily. Don’t let it “hijack” you. Find out what else it there.

2. Does he like to touch and be touched? This is important to your mental and physical health.

3. Does he look at you with affection and kindness? Most communication is nonverbal.

4. Have you used your thinking brain? EQ means using all 3 brains. Are you compatible in your daily habits? You’ll be keeping house together. Do you have the same values and priorities?

5. Does he have emotional self-awareness? How is he at empathy? One of the most predictive traits for compatibility is if you can sense the other’s sadness.

6. How optimistic is he? Optimism is the facilitator of all the EQ competencies. In addition, optimists live longer, enjoy better health, and accomplish more. Can you laugh and have fun together?

7. How resilient is he? How does he manage adverse events and setbacks? Has he been able to GROW through adversity, not just GO through it?

8. How do you and he manage anger? Successful couples soothe one another instead of agitating and escalating.

9. How balanced is his life? Resilient people combine learning, work and leisure throughout their lifetime.

10.Will you be his top priority?

11.Do you feel at ease with this person? If you’re walking on eggshells, or working too hard, it won’t work in the long run.

12.How much does his baggage weigh? (See Chapter 3 of my ebook, Midlife Dating Survival Manual for Women)

13.How is his self-esteem? Does he trust you or is he jealous and insecure?

14.Are you treated with respect? Does he treat other people w/ respect? This may be more of an indication for ‘after the honeymoon.’ Pay particular attention to how he treats his mother and his children. That’s how he’ll treat you. Also, does he ogle other women in your presence? This is a bad sign.

15.Is there chemistry?

16.Is he financially stable?

17.Is he mature and emotionally intelligent, interested in making a commitment, and capable of doing so?

18.HOW DOES HE MAKE YOU FEEL?