I've helped her identify them - and today alone, through match.com, she had 3 contacting her, and then a 4th via facebook. 2 of the ones from match.com were on her "daily match."
Surefire clues --
-- They want to go to yahoo IM immediately and have monikers like mikewest144.
-- You will find out right away that they are an "engineer"
-- They will mention they are either on their way to Nigeria or Malaysia or that they are already there
One of hers said he was coming back to America and could she meet him at the airport. "What airport?" she asked, and he replied, "O'Hare International Airport." When she lives in San Antonio, Texas.
-- They will say they are born in Europe, but live in the US, in some place they cannot tell you anything about. For instance, they live in San Antonio and you ask about the Alamo, and they change the subject
-- They do not answer your questions, they ask another one
-- They are incredible misfortunate - their child is sick (they are always a widower), they are in the hospital, their child is in the hospital, their mother is dying. They need money for this ... and then for the plane ticket ... and then for customs ...
That having been said, there are things an American man can learn from the best of the Nigerian scammers. These are related by one of my clients who was in the hands of a really astute Nigerian scammer:
--They use the phrase "I am here" and "I've got your back" and "I'll stand by you," and "I'll never go away"
--They are online seemingly 24/7, and always available for the woman they are 'courting'
--They talk about family, obligations, and the fact that they won't run
--They say they will do anything for family, and will make sacrifices
--They shower the woman with attention - verbal, verbal, verbal
--They state that age doesn't matter (usually "age is a mare [sic] number")
--The best of them make very few grammatical errors, no more than a person typing would, like typos
--They have just the right tone of voice on the phone (albeit there is an accent, which they attribute to being born elsewhere, or all their travels)-sweet, full of emotion
--They are very emotional - will cry when reporting that their brother died in surgery, will show anger if you don't appear online for a day
--They say they will cook for the woman, retire her, take her around the world
--They use poetry and sweet words - copied off the Internet, but then what is a quote from Shakespeare but that -- a quote. Just that they don't attribute it. nevertheless, it works
--They use "honey" and "baby" liberally, and woman fall for this, trite as it is
--The photos they send are tasteful, good looking, well dressed, everything in place (nothing skanky). The best do not send anything porn-like.
The thing I want to say is that this is becoming as prevalent as the stupid email scams we've been getting for years (and still do), saying you've won the lottery in some foreigh country. If this woman received more than one in her daily match, look at what is going on.
Especially if you look classy or like you have money, you can expect to hear from these people regularly.
Do turn them in to match.com if you get one, and also to the scam sites if you like. Here is one place to report if scammed re: Malaysia.
They write:
An increasing number of Americans have been victims of scams originating in Malaysia. Con artists contact Americans through the internet, including dating web sites. These con artists usually pose as American citizens who have unexpectedly experienced a medical, legal, financial or other type of emergency in Malaysia that requires immediate financial assistance.
You can also report to the Internet Crime Complaint Center.
Here are some romance scam sites:
Romance scam
Travel.State.Gov
Yahoo Romance Scam Info
Nigerian Dating Scam with Photos
If you check out these sites, you will see that the same phrases are used over and over. They will generally send the scammed stuff via email, not the IM. If you feel suspicious, copy the email and google it, and you will likely find it was scammed off the Internet, and appears over and over on these romance-scam sites.
You will find certain photos are used repeatedly. They are exceptionally appealing men, usually men that would pass for around 50 years of age, and they are generally models, but not always.
Here is one commonly used. Bear in mind the real person this is a photo of, is NOT the scammer:
This has been used with aliases such as Gabsy Fisher, John Armstrong, Joe, Mike, Scott Smith, Vincente Miguel, and more. The photos used are generally of men that could pass for multi-national.
So -- ladies beware when you are dating. This is becoming increasingly prevalent and has made its way into the legitimate dating sites such as match.com . There are places you can report this abuse.
But -- be aware that almost immediately the Nigerian scam artist will remove his profile from the site. (After all, it takes just a few minutes to set one up.) With the woman mentioned above, she got her dailies today, and by this evening, the man's profile was no longer online. And he had already told her his child was sick in the hospital.
The really good ones will work the relationship for a month or two, and they do a really good job at it.
Bear in mind that they are psychologically astute. If you sound desperate, lonely, like you are a pushover, that you are kind-hearted, that you always stand by people, if you react to their emotionality, that you like to help ... it will signal them to keep at it.
Good luck!
SUSAN DUNN, DATING COACH - 817-734-1471, sdunn@susandunn.cc .
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment