Photos Not to Post on your Dating Profile

PHOTOS ON YOUR DATING PROFILE

Let's talk a moment about what kind of photos you want to put on your dating profile. Guys seem to be the worst offenders in this are, so let's start with photos on your dating profile that are not going to attract a woman to want to date you. Or maybe even to MEET you.

1. I think I can safely say (from interviewing thousands of women) that the #1 turnoff is the photo where you stand in the BATHROOM and take a photo of yourself with your SHIRT OFF and your CELL PHONE SHOWING IN THE PHOTO. What are you thinking? Usually the photo is - well, like a photo you take of yourself in the bathroom. Secondly, consider the connotations - which might include (1) you don't even have a friend who can photograph you? (2) I could wait a year before I wanted to see you in the bathroom; (3) No matter how good your pecs are, it just smacks of narcisissm, not to mention poor taste. I would say "if you must, at least make sure your bathroom looks appealing," except that there's no such thing. Save it.

2. Photos like the one above. It is a good photograph, I'll grant that (and there's something to be said for a man whose a great photographer), but ... somehow I can't really put this in to words. I suppose it means you like to fish. Ladies, if you love to fish, raise your hands. One, two ... Then, somehow this photo lacks what would come with a photo of you on a boat with a marlin or something.
The point is -- think of the connotations.

COMMENTS FROM DATING COACHING CLIENTS:

"If he wants to show me he's a good provider, he could put a big fish on there, or even a deer."

"Huh?"

"I guess he wants us to know he takes a good photograph. I'm not interested much in a man who takes good photographs."

"I like good photos and that, but hey, that's a dead, limp fish."

"LOL"

3. More generally, photos of your game and kill. I've seen photos of a deer hanging, a man in the field in his camou-gear. Worst are the ones (like the above) where just the kill is shown. After that, you with your gun/knife/rod AND the hunt. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm one of those that doesn't mind a guy hunting. Hey, I'm from Texas. But ... would you like to see a photo on my profile of me bowling. Or knitting. Or rocking a baby. These are hobbies. Things I like to do. But is my potential date quite interested in that yet?

To sum it up so far -- no kill, road or others. No bathroom scenes. And actually, most women don't care to see the naked torso on a profile.

Again, think of the connotations. You are putting on there something you love, but you aren't stopping to think what would be appealing to the woman, and that is like a metaphor. It's rather egocentric. And that's not exactly what we're after on our dating profiles.

Let me help you write a profile that will present you well, and help you choose photos that will help you sell yourself in a good light.

4. Tons of art photos. I visited one profile that had no less than 20 great, beautiful photos of nature. Another where the man's hobby wad evidentally bird-watching and there were a ton of bird photos on there. This is a matter of degree. Sure I like to know that a man's a great photographer, because it's one of my hobbies and like-attracts-like, BUT ... one or two would be enough. Also there's the problem that we don't know if it was YOU who took the photo. As i say above, I think it's neat when a guy's a great photographer, and even an appreciator of art, but that isn't explained. I like the Mona Lisa, and I took a great photo of the Mona Lisa when I was at the Louvres, but I don't put my photo of it on my profile.

5. Photos of you with another chick unless it's obviously your mother or daughter. And even then ... We try and screen out players. Help us out here.

6. Lastly, and the online dating sites do a good job of screening these, ladies don't like to see anything too suggestive. Let me sum this up for you -- people like to make money. If there were any money in porno sites for women there would be a ton of them. There aren't. Get it?

What you want is a small selection of great photos of yourself, or your art photos, that tell us who you are and what you're like, but that don't overdo it in any direction.

It's a good idea to let me critique your profile writeup and photos for you. You want to put your best foot forward.