When You Get Rejected (or Appear to Be)

Dear Dating Coach:

3 days ago I got a nice email from this guy asking me out to dinner. It was nice and I was considering accepting the date. Then I went out of town on business. When I got back today, this is what was in my mailbox on the dating site:

YOU missed out on a free meal and good company. But thats ok, by you not responding in any,shows me the type of person you are. At least I could have received a no thank you for the offer. In fact I had even written my sister saying this was the kind of email I liked to get.

What do you think of that? What should I do? -- A Surprised Dater

Dear Surprised Dater:

I think this man doesn't understand the rules of online dating, and also has been rejected a lot - not a good sign. That's quite an over-reaction, followed be unnecessary defensive rudeness.

RULES:

1. Some people spend all day on their computers. Other people might check in once a week.


2. I advise all women to wait at least 24 hours to reply to email or phone.


3. Speed of reply is not an indication of interest or lack of interest. It's personal style. Be patient.


4. Here's how it works. If someone doesn't respond to you (like in a month), or writes they aren't interested, just move on. Don't take it personally. There's no need to make any response to them. There are plenty of fish in the sea.


5. Lastly, gentlemen, ladies are not after "a free meal," they want your companionship, a pleasant evening, to get to know you and have a good time.


6. Doing this is bad karma. Don't ask me why, it just is. What goes around comes around.

What do I think? He HAS issues, and he LACKS manners. You dodged a bullet.

What should you do? Guilt isn't mandatory, just say "no" and reject people who deal it. Delete the email and move on.

Dating coaching - in person (Dallas area), by phone, 817-734-1471, by email. Call me for a free consultation and we can discuss options and plans. Let me help you connect up with the partner of your dreams.