Unrealistic Expectations about Your Dream Partner

THE PERFECT MATE FOR YOU

Well, we are all something - tall, short, heavy, skinny, weak, strong, brunette ... these are physical attributes.

We are also kind, considerate, relationship-oriented, good communcators, honest, faithful, playboys, inconsiderate, flighty, demanding, needy ...

It seems to be hard to us to realize that physical attributes change. I remember a guy in college with the most gorgeous black thick curly hair. He was also so muscular and well over 6'3". Yes, the Big Man on Campus. I met him 30 years late, and he was nearly bald , his muscles had weakened and he had shrunk an inch or two. What remained was that he still used words like "honor code".

You see?

If you fall in love with a passing physical trait, you are falling in love with something that will not endure. (In fact it isn't 'love', it's something else!!) It's like you love black hair, you don't love Fred, who happens to have black hair... and might not one day.

On the short support org blog I found the following. There are many people concerned that they are "short":

Dr. Phil is a CBS talk show in which Dr. Phil McGraw counsels guests in a
no-nonsense manner about their issues.

During a December 2006 episode, he interviewed several guests with unrealistic expectations from relationships. One woman was so absolutely impossible in her demands of men - to the point that her girlfriend practically forced her to attend the show. Dr. Phil was often at a loss for words, eyeing the camera quizzically at several points as she talked, clearly flabbergasted by her negative attitude.

Not only did she demean balding men (right in front of McGraw, himself balding), but she soon mentioned how short men just don't make the grade as far as she is concerned. He looked at her and told her that she herself was short, prompting her to respond "but it's okay for a girl to be short."

What a sick, self-interested attitude. According to her, any short man
is not "okay." Literally, she is worthy of love, but a man of her height? No.

McGraw clearly saw the stupidity in the comment, but he did not pursue
it any further. I wish he had done so, but being a man of well over six feet
tall I'm just glad he was able to spot something wrong with it at all.

Comments from the blog. by Mr, Parma.

What I want to bring out here is

several guests with unrealistic expectations from relationships. One woman was so absolutely impossible in her demands of men - to the point that her girlfriend practically forced her to attend the show

And here's the wonder of the world. In my last dating seminar we went over "lists." One woman had put that she liked short men, like 5'6" she said. Another women frowned and said, "How can you? They gotta be at least 6'2" for me." "Ewwww," replied the first woman.

Well, that's the wonder of the world.

Make your lists of desireable, must-haves, and deal-breakers, I always recommend that; but let me help you with it. There's a lot to learn in dating and searching, and I'm here to help. There's a difference between "standards" (I want a man who is honest in his dealings with other) and "demands" (He must be at least 6' tall and muscular.).

Standards are about relationship and how one lives their life. Physical charactistics are accidents of nature, and have more to do with lust, than love. (See my EQ course to differentiate the reptile brain, from the limbic brain, from the neocortex). You will find it SOOO helpful. Little hint: that hottie that turns you on could possibly be a disaster to marry ( I have listened to the other end of this a LOT.)

I am true romantic and I KNOW there's a pot for every lid!! Let me help you find yours.